More Than a Good Engineer

I have spent four years in tech. Like most people who start out, I wanted to be good at the work. I still do. But over time, I realized something else matters just as much. I want to be remembered not only as a good engineer, but as a good human being.

If I can help someone, I will. Even when I cannot, I can still treat them well. Everyone deserves kindness, respect, and dignity.

Here are a few things I try to remind myself of:

1. Always show kindness. We all have bad days. We get busy. We get frustrated. Sometimes someone asks a question at exactly the wrong time, and giving a short, cold answer feels like the easiest thing to do. I have been on both sides of that moment.

   Feeling irritated is natural. But someone else does not deserve your rudeness because your day is going badly. If your kindness can make someone’s day a little better, show it. Be the person who brings warmth to others.

2. Never lose your respect for anyone. Some people will be rude to you. Some will not support you when you need them. It hurts, and your first instinct may be to give it back. I have felt that pull too.

   But how someone treats you is their choice. How you respond is yours. You do not have to become rude because someone was rude to you. You do not have to lose your respect for someone because they lost theirs for you.

   Do not let someone else’s behavior change the person you want to be.

3. Be humble. The more you learn, the more you realize how much there is still to learn. Whatever you know today, there was a time when you did not know it. Someone taught you. Someone helped you. Or you struggled through it yourself. So there is nothing to be arrogant about.

   Do not look down on someone because they do not know something you know. If you can teach them, teach them. If they make a mistake, help them learn from it. You were once there too.

4. Everyone has dignity. You will work with people who know less than you. Some will make mistakes. Some will take longer to learn. Some may need more help than others. Most of them already know it. You do not need to make them feel it.

   If someone asks for feedback, give it honestly. But give it with respect, preferably in private. Never make someone feel small in front of others just to prove that you know more. Most of us remember what it felt like when someone did that to us.

At the end of the day, everything is temporary. The code, the titles and the projects will be forgotten. The way you treat others defines you, and that’s how people remember you.